What my daughter taught me

What my daughter taught me

Just three years of being a mother my daughter has become my greatest teacher. Here are the 10 things my daughter taught me.

There is a huge misconception of our society that parents have to teach their children. We are the responsibility and the obligation to guide our children into this world. Moreover, to explain them the intricacies of our human mind, body and emotions.

But the reality is not like that.

Our children come packed with some attributes that are important for us. They showcase the polarities within us and our families. Simply put, they come in opposition of our beliefs.

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Consequently we are the ones that have to learn from them.

Now this is a list with what my daughter taught me:

  • She showed me motherhood was possessive. I breastfeed for 16 months and I realized that the amount of time I spend with my daughter was not balanced. Her father didn’t get the chance to feed her or care for her as much as I did.
  • Motherhood was a prison. Giving my all to this child. Reaching a point where I completely forgot myself. My profession, my personal life, in a sexual way and most importantly at an emotional level.
  • Moreover I learned I am not a teacher but a role model. We have big dreams about our children for them to achieve great things in life. But we don’t understand that those dreams are not for them but rather the unfulfilled dreams of our own life. Learning to achieve my dreams and during that process she will clone that behavior wisely.
  • Also learned there is no Ideal Mother. Trying to be perfect and give a perfect life to our children can lead us to complete failure. Perfection is failure. Trying to be a bad mom, or at least a worse mom made me a better one.
  • Looking at her I can see my own shadows. Children are amazing mirrors of our unsolved issues, traumas and toxic behavior. I learned how by looking at her to discover things in myself.
what my daughter taught me

Let me know in the comment what type of things you’ve learned from your kids.

  • She taught me that boundaries are crucial. The most loving thing you can do with your child is show them boundaries. They build strong characters thinks to that. And also, they learn to put boundaries themselves in their social life.
  • I learned how kindness comes in different shapes and forms. Authority was my greatest act of love. When we act as strong pillars of their life with great authority and determination. They start building their identity in strong foundation.
  • I understood protection should be minimal. Rather that survival and imminent danger I learned that all other things they just them become stronger. Protecting them from words, reactions, and facing the reality was not helping her at all.
  • Motherhood is my own evolution as a human being. We a new human come to this planet we think that is all about them. When in reality is all about what contrast they bring for us. The parents, the rest of the family and the society at large.
  • The father is equality as important. Even from the beginning. As woman we should not want to do it alone. We need the masculine complementary energy to grow a human being. They need that complementary energy. Is really half of their identity.

For me to learn these new ideas my entire being had to go through an identity death. By disidentifying with the only version of me I knew until that point. That process was hard but the results are astonishing. I used the “The 9 stages of grief” I detailed here.

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