Self-help is impossible
Imagine you have never had a banana in your life. Self-help is as impossible as if you write the word banana on a piece of paper and then you eat it.
This new age of self-help gurus is full of people telling you their way to achieve something. Are we not unique individuals and we need completely different things? And second of all when you listen to what that guru your subconscious (who is an expert at avoiding the reality of your own life) will hand pick only the things that reinsure the lies you tell yourself. The bulk of the information you don’t even hear it. Is not in your subconscious benefit it tried very hard to keep you safe. Self-help is impossible because its not in your benefit but build as a multimillion business.
When you go to therapy, the session is personalised to what is specifically your blockage. A therapist is like a sculptor master. It carved away the layers of protection you have built over the years to let you see what you haven’t seen of yourself.
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We have been feed the idea that life is suffering, and we are broken, we need to be fixed. That the entire humanity is dysfunctional. The message is Fix this, all of it, we are all messed up. The self-help gurus, the politicians, your parents, your teachers, they all tell you how to start your journey to perfection. To change who you are. While this idea that we are all as messed up it can be comforting to some degree, in my view it has 2 outcomes:
- One group of people will be ok with manifesting their imperfections. Regardless of how rude, disrespectful or offensive that might be.
- Another group will dedicate their life to completely change all those human imperfections. Activism, voluntary, religious, donations, charity, you name it. Trying to be a God like creature.
I don’t know if you can see how profoundly damaging this can be. Both outcomes, personally and for the entire society. You be the judge of that. Living ruthlessly or giving your life to other.
A third alternative
Imagine you assume your imperfections as a human. You understand we are all in a process of evolution and we need time to set in place. We have only been here for 200.000 years. The Earth is 4.543 billion years old. Let’s do some math that is 0,000004402377284 % humans have been existing for the Earth. So, let’s just calm down and look at what are those so-called imperfections. See if you can use them meanwhile as a tool for something else. Acting like they are my values, my talents, what makes me, truly me.
Outsource the help from professionals
This idea that everything has to come from within is insane. We are social animals and we thrive together and in collaboration. Try to outsource help. For therapy, financial information from professionals, education from professors and mentors, health and life advice from fitness and nutrition professionals. Take that information and with skepticism put it through your filters. Is what you want, is what you need, is where you see benefits, or growth?
At the end of the day. You have to do the best you can with what you have. But you have to do it.