How to deal with a narcissist
What is a narcissistic personality disorder? How I call it and why? And tips of how to heal your relationship with a narcissist.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe them as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. They can have a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a perceived or real lack of empathy.
If you prefer it on video click here, if not keep reading.
In psychology they are described as personality disorders and I disagree with that term since I don’t think is a disorder. Like a chaos that was brought upon our lives. Rather I prefer to call it personality polarization. Is a specific mental polarization due to emotional confusion or neglect. In other words, due to the inability to manage emotions we run from one point to other. From extreme fear to extreme desire. These emotions in extreme pole create personality polarization.
3 simple way to identify a Narcissist:
- A common behavior would be superficiality/inauthenticity: not in fact what it is said to be, lack of sincerity. Which transforms them into deeply sad people unable to show their true self to anyone ever. Living an introspective and lonely life.
- Another behavior would be gas lighting (manipulate someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.) A narcissist knows very well the weaknesses of the people around them. Therefore, is very easy for them to pinch exactly where it hurts. Why it hurt is a subject I explained in my video called Empathy doesn’t exist which I will link bellow. But the acknowledgment of that hurts is the point here.
- A narcissist can’t be bad. Example: A mother that dedicates her life to her family keeping the marriage together for the kids and caring for the kids 24h a day during her entire life. You would call that a sacrifice, a dedicated mother, even a good mother, and that what a narcissist is looking for, us to say those things about them. A narcissistic person will do everything for people to say only good things about them. This mother will go on and tell her children how much she sacrificed her life. Telling them Its all been for the family. Painting a picture of herself impossible for the children or others to ever shake that image off of them.
How to solve a relationship with a narcissist
Stop playing a part in the narcissist – victim drama.
Exit the dynamic.
Consecutively if you exit this relationship, they will definitely find another victim like person to continue their programming. But if you exit the victim role and stand by them you introduce new identity to this relationship. How can you exit the victim role then?
To NOT DO list:
- complimenting that person
- making favors
- be less attached to them physically, emotionally and economically.
To DO list:
- expressing the negative emotions they produce in you
- saying no to some things involving that person
- expressing your opinion in many matters and if you are belittled just say, well I might know much but that is my opinion
- cut the cord, be independent
Then go to bed and remember they only harm you because you have no boundaries, no fences around your emotional, economical and physical body. Stand your ground, build your fence, and everything around you will automatically change. Even a narcissist.