Abandonment issues to Abuse
How abandonment issues lead to abusive behaviour.
Abandonment is a very heavy program built in early stages of development. If you give an event of abandonment from even you were 15 years old, I will ask you to look even further in the past because certainly you have another event earlier that has triggered and will continue to trigger this abandonment feeling. The fear of being alone is built when we know for a fact that we can’t take care of ourselves.
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Abandonment can be the cause of many issues during a lifetime. But what I found is that abandonment is the first cause of abuse. And more specifically two types of abuse.
This type can include physical and emotional abuse perpetuated through lack of boundaries. And psychological abuse cause by mental programs overwrite, by someone else forcing a perception on to us. In this case it’s a victim of a narcissist.
The abandonment can be literal, or it can appear even if there is no physical separation from the parent or the care giver. In this case is very difficult to detect this abandonment issue. And even more difficult if the issue is related to other members of the family, a friend or a pet.
Yet again we have the 3 categories. Physical self-abuse included cutting, bulimia, anorexia, obesity, high performance sports, boxing or ballet. Really any activity that pushes the limits of our physical capabilities, and it felt like a form of torture.
Emotional self-abuse is also because of lack of boundaries. No external boundaries for people to freely do what they want with you, and no internal boundaries for you to allow others torture from inside.
And finally, psychological abuse that generates self-doubt, self-bulling, self-harassment. To such degree that you start torturing yourself in your mind every day. Phrases like “you are stupid”, “how fat you look”, “you are worthless” are some example of the things we say to ourselves in the mirror. Out loud or not, it has the same effect as if someone else talks like that to us.
Read here about How to love yourself.
Read here about How to deal with a narcissist.